Michael Moore Goes On Rampage
(Daily Mail) A pensioner was brutally attacked in his home by a 'crazed cannibal' who ate his thumb and bit chunks from his face and body, it emerged last night. Douglas Morgan, 75, is recovering in hospital with his wife Valerie at his bedside after the vicious attack which left him unconscious and covered in blood.
The elderly couple were getting ready for bed when they heard someone climbing through a window they had left open in the heat-wave. Mr. Morgan went downstairs to investigate. When the pensioner confronted the intruder, he was punched and bitten viciously across his face and upper parts of his body. The attacker then bit off part of his thumb and ate it.
The search is still underway for Mr. Moore. It is believed that he ran off into the night like a rabid fat man on acid screaming, “Halliburton made me do it, Halliburton made me do it!” Police have gathered and our asking all persons to stay in their homes and lock their doors. "With a man like this out on the streets, we must urge all county residents to stay alert and indoors”, said an unnamed local police captain.
Be afraid, be very afraid. And if you see a big socialist weasel running around, be sure that you shoot him…he is very dangerous.