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Uncle Sam Gives Out Speeding Tickets

In a gross display of unpatriotic ticket-giving, Florida police officers defiled our beloved Uncle Sam by using speed traps to bilk its citizens out of thousands of dollars.

So much for you fireworks, kids. The cops took all of daddy's money

Hundreds of Central Florida motorists were ticketed Monday by a costumed Uncle Sam officer in a weeklong operation targeting speeding holiday drivers.